I think it might be difficult to read Tim's writing so from now on I'll by typing out what he has written. I have added some punctuation, but otherwise kept it just as he wrote.
I asked Tim to tell me about his days in prison. I wonder if some people think prison life isn't quite hard enough for inmates. Personally, I cannot imagine the depth of the loneliness.
August 16, 2011
"My days in prison would be like a person bound to their bed. Each day is about the same. I work in the kitchen from 7am to 2pm off on Saturdays. I work on the serving line in one of the 4 chow halls. when I get off work I come back to my living quarters and sit in the dayroom. The dayroom has steel benches in front of 2 tvs and 7 tables with stools. Like a picnic table. They have ins and outs every hour. Ins and outs are when you can go in your cell or come out. The cells have 2 men in them. I sleep on the top bunk. We have a sink & toilet a desk and 2 shelves. They have table games and we have outside rec. We are under constant watch. All the time. Count time is every hour. We all get counted 2 times every count. When I'm not working I take a shower and go to the cell. I read the Bible, write letters, listen to my radio. From 7am to 2pm I'm working. From 2pm to 7pm I'm in the cell taking a nap or reading or just thinking. If you take medicine you have to go the the pill window. That's a pain. They call it over a loud speaker. Everyone gets ready to walk to the pill window. We all have a picture I.D. that we carry on us all the time. The picture ID has a magnet strip on the back ran like a credit card. It will show the pill window lady what pills you take and she will give them to you. We have no A/C here, that would be to much like home! We have a commissary that we go to each week. A copy of the list is enclosed. I have a fan you must have in the summer, a nightlight with a multi plug. A radio with headphones. Hotpot to heat water or heat a meat pack. A pair of rhino boots. To have all these things or to make store is nothing because I'm still in prison. We have a law library for legal work and a regular library for checking out reading books. We don't have computers at all for inmates. Breakfast is at 3am, we get nothing like at home. We get powder milk 'Yuk' - oatmeal or pancakes or both maybe a egg if we are lucky. Lunch starts at 9:45am. They serve chicken or chicken patty, a lot of pasta and veggies. Supper about the same as lunch. The menu is the same 7 days a week. I appreciate most where I'm at for my walk with God. Getting a better foundation in his word and helping other inmates to know Jesus. No drinking and it feels good not to be drunk. I face my feelings sober and when I'm afraid or scared I face my feelings sober which is all new and weird. September 3rd I will have been in this unit for one year. I do hate it every day. There is nothing in this place that has meaning. Nights are hard for me, when sleep comes I never want to wake up. I've often prayed for God to take me in my sleep. When I do wake up I thank God for another day and get up one more time to start my day in prison. I miss my wife everyday. She comes and visits me 3 times a month. Weekends are the visits. We get contact. She smells so good when she comes. We get a 2 hr visit. Life is a gift we all take for granted. Our 2 hour visit is precious to me. We get a picture every month. I should have been dead when I rolled our car because of my drinking. I was by myself, God had a plan for me. We do have church here on Sunday mornings. A plane for my life? My wife and I are working on my case always looking to God. Prison isn't a good place. There is a lot of hate in here. Whites against Blacks. Prison is a different world, a lot of gay men, things God says should never be talked about. I stay to myself a lot. It's better. Oh I have men I talk with but nothing to deep. I've had no problems here. I'm 6'5" and weigh 255. I also have God walking with me. What I hate the most is being away from my wife our home. Prison is hard if you let it. I'm using this time to help me. I'm in AA, I go on Tuesdays from 7pm to 8pm and Thursdays we do work sheets and get involved with the class. I pray to God every day that I don't die in this place. I know if I would have died at my wreck I would have gone to Heaven. I try and keep my mind on God daily and not let worry come in. I will always keep it real when writing to you who read my words. My life isn't over, I've been lost the day I was born. I've made it for 45 years still being on this earth. I'm mad at myself for being here and the pain I've caused my wife and loved ones. I will never like ths place, I will always hate it. Somedays I'm like the wind blowing. It's hard to explain. I lay in the bunk thinking I need to get out of it, but wonder what for. I lay back down and thinnk of my home and cry and I try to sleep. My best time is writing. Writing about my life is cool. I pray I may help someone with something. I will say this life is a bitch and I have traveled down some bad roads in my time and even in prison there are bad roads. And even when I feel like crap most of the time something keeps me going and I want to find that something and get closer to it every day - "Jesus".
Days are hard. God bless you all.
Timothy May
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